Women have more imagination than men. They need it to tell us
how wonderful we are. Women have their faults. Men have only two:
Everything they say; Everything they do. A successful man is one
who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman
is one who can find such a man.
Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed. Women somehow
deteriorate during the night. When women are depressed, they
either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. It's a
whole different way of thinking. A man is a person who will pay
two dollars for a one-dollar item he wants. A woman will pay one
dollar for a two-dollar item that she doesn't want.
Men always want to be a woman's first love. Women have a more
subtle instinct: What they like is to be a man's last romance.
The only way to understand a woman is to love her - and then it
isn't necessary to understand her. To women, love is an
occupation. To men, a preoccupation. To be happy with a man you
must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with
a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at
A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A
man marries a woman expecting that she won't change and she does.
Men marry because they are tired; woman because they are curious.
Both are disappointed. A woman worries about the future until she
gets a husband, while a man never worries about the future until
he gets a wife. A woman will always cherish the memory of the man
who wanted to marry her; a man, of the woman who he didn't. There
are two times when a man doesn't understand a woman - before
marriage and after marriage.
Only two things are necessary to keep one's wife happy. One is to
let her think she is having her own way, and the other is to let
her have it. Married men live longer than single men, but married
men are a lot more willing to die. Any married man should forget
his mistakes - no use two people remembering the same thing.
Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
Husbands are like cars: all are good the first year.
A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says
after that is the beginning of a new argument.
If you women knew what we were thinking, you'd never stop
slapping us. Men are like animals, but they make great pets. Can
you imagine a world without men? No crime and lots of happy fat
Women have two weapons - cosmetics and tears. Women may be the
only group that grows more radical with age. God made man before
woman to give him time to think of an answer for her first